Kate Sumner, Auckland Council
Sentence from Auckland Plan: Measuring progress
Monitoring of the Development Strategy is undertaken on an annual basis to measure and report on progress toward achieving the implementation of the strategy.
We report on the Development Strategy every year to track its progress.
This writer halved the sentence length. The rewrite is a breath of fresh air compared to the stodgy original. Reading it brings the literal sense of relief that comes when content is so clear and easy it takes zero effort to understand. The use of personal language makes it engaging and superbly easy to digest. The meaning of the original was obscured by wordiness but the rewrite highlights the meaning in a few excellently simple words.
The important information we provide to Aucklanders often covers complicated subjects and processes. Luckily, our Digital team’s dedication to the plain language cause ensures we consider our customers’ needs in every sentence.
This transformed sentence receives the ‘fluff-free’ seal of approval. It is short and to the point, easy to understand, and contains only the (everyday) words necessary to deliver a clear message.